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2024 Predictions
2024 Predictions
Barack and Michelle Obama debut a new home-flipping show on HGTV called Obamakeover
11 years after releasing their breakthrough album "Some Nights", The Band Fun. reunites and tops the summer charts with their new album "Those Mornings".
Harry Styles is MIA for first half of 2024 then returns in July with a hair transplant and announces he is starting his own fashion line called "Harry".
Bitcoin reaches new all time high of $92,418 on February 4th after an elaborate bit during the Premiere of the 66th Grammy Awards
Leaning Tower of Pisa catches on fire. Pete Davidson hosts SNL to make light of the tragic event.
Mamma Mia 3: How Can I Resist You? is announced. Mired by financial turmoil Sophie and Sky are looking to sell their Greek hotel when a mysterious benefactor played by Ted Danson (somehow Sophie's real Dad) presents them with a strange deal.
Smashmouth legal trouble.
Amazon buys Rivian as Jeff Bezos looks to go head to head with Elon Musk in the EV space.
Joe Biden surprisingly still alive for 2024 election, opts to drop Kamala Harris for new VP Jon Stewart.
Texas threatens to invade Oklahoma.
New completely anonymous social media app called "GhostPost" catches fire. Every user gets a randomly generated username and has their own homepage which they can design and publish once a day (basically one blank powerpoint slide). Certain rare usernames are deemed desirable, opening a market for the sale of the best handles.
RIP Chevy Chase.
The NBA announces that fans will be able to attend games in virtual reality.
Halley's Comet makes a surprise appearance on April 8th leaving astronomers befuddled.
As AI art increases in prevalence across the web, there is a huge spike in the human-painted art market. The original Dogs Playing Poker Painting is purchased by Adam Sandler for $13.4 million.
John Stamos announces he is running for Governor in his home state of California.
Yankees win the 2024 World Series and shortstop Anthony Volpe starts dating Sabrina Carpenter.
Cornell becomes the first Ivy League school to announce their school of Interactive Media and Streaming Arts. They see an all time high in applications due to Mr. Beast being announced as Dean of the program.
Sayings That Don't Exist But Should
Sayings That Don't Exist But Should
"Zambonis don't freeze the ice"
"Zambonis don't freeze the ice"
Perfect for when you are under fire for something that you have no control over or is not your responsibility to begin with.
"The Gopher's Loafers"
"The Gopher's Loafers"
Sure you have your Bee's Knees, and your Cat's Pajamas but in 2024 we are saying the Gopher's Loafers. The existence of this image makes me think this one may actually exist already...
"I feel like Israel Kamakawiwoʻole without his ukelele"
"I feel like Israel Kamakawiwoʻole without his ukelele"
Pretty self explanatory. You don't feel like your best self when you are missing a crucial element of your personality.
"Don't pour gasoline on an Elephant"
"Don't pour gasoline on an Elephant"
A two-for-one saying! When there is a problem in the room that everyone is opting to ignore, don't try to stoke the flames and make it worse by introducing new elements.
"Fitting a square peg in a Bob Dole"
"Fitting a square peg in a Bob Dole"
Use it to explain someone trying to take two completely unrelated things and create some cockamamie connection between them to support their endeavor. Some things are best left apart. Leave pegs to Cribbage games, and Bob Dole to be a Republican Senate Majority Leader from 1985-1996.
Top 5's With No Explanation
Top 5's With No Explanation
Christmas Movies
Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Harry Potter Series
Any The Office Christmas Episode
A Charlie Brown Christmas
The Animated Grinch
Candy
Yellow Starburst
Sweetarts
Sour Skittles
Fruit Mentos
Nerds Gummy Clusters
Pokemon
Psyduck
Jolteon
Dragonite
Sandslash
Beedrill
Winter Characters
Frosty the Snowman
Yukon Cornelius
Sven the Reindeer
Duke Of Weselton
Bob Cratchit (Kermit's Version)
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